In one of the scenes in the movie, Salvador Mallo (played brilliantly by Antonio Banderas) explains, “The better actor isn’t the one who cries, it’s the one who fights to hold back the tears.” The restraint suggested in this line can fittingly describe Almodóvar’s ability as a master filmmaker, capturing the way life and art intertwine, how pain and loss can help shape an artist’s career.
Watching an older Antonio Banderas in the opening scene, submerged in a swimming pool, his body covered in scars and wrinkles, it hits me that he is no longer the youthful, charming actor I remember in “The Mask of Zorro” and “Desperado”, among other films. Instead, Banderas brings about a sense of grace and fragility in his performance as Salvo, which is mesmerizing to watch. He is old and his body is deteriorating, even picking up a pill from the floor requires a pillow for him to rest his knees on. As a result of his various health issues, Salvo is unable to make films again, leading him into depression. When Salvo’s film “Sabor” is re-released, he approaches the star of his film that he has not spoken with for 3 decades to make amends. Confession requires self-reflection and opening up about your own vulnerabilities to others, and it is a central theme of the film. Salvo recounts his life and his 3 major regrets – his estrangement with actor Alberto Crespo (Asier Etxeandia) over artistic differences, his lover Federico Delgado (Leonardo Sbaraglia), and his relationship with his mother (Penélope Cruz as the younger version in his flashbacks, Julieta Serrano as the older version).
Despite hating his own film in the past, Salvo finds himself being moved by it after so many years. But the movie hasn’t changed, but his perspective has. Age and illnesses bring about maturity and determination to make a change for the better.
When fate intervenes and Salvo meets his former lover Federico, they spend the night chatting and catching up on their lives. Salvo asks Federico if his partner is a man or a woman, and Federico answers that his partner is a woman, before saying, “My experiences with men ended with you.” Hidden within such a simple and heart-wrenching line is their love which, unlike their relationship, never ended. The conversation ends and the two elderly men eventually have to part ways, but not before sharing a passionate kiss, which is one of the most touching moments of the film. The bittersweet reunion ends, and both know it is impossible to go back to the more innocent days of their relationship.
Although Salvo was able to mend his relationships with Alberto and Federico, there is still one thing he regrets – his failure to be the son his mother wants him to be. Throughout his childhood, his mother has been the pillar of the family, especially in hard times. The cruelty of life and poverty didn’t stop her from turning the humble cave they live in into a warm home for the family, or from struggling to provide an education for Salvo. Yet at the end of her life, Salvo is unable to fulfill her wish of spending her final days back at home. His teary apology that being the man he was had brought her disappointment was a heartfelt reflection of Almodóvar’s love and regret towards his mother.
Yet, if there is one thing that age cannot take away, it is the memory of desire. Salvo’s first desire came in the form of Eduardo (César Vicente), a young builder who helps to whitewash Salvo’s home in return for Salvo teaching him to read and write. When Salvo sees Eduardo’s naked body after a shower, bathed in the warm sunlight through the open roof, he falls to the floor and faints. But it is also a moment of awakening for the young boy, and Almodóvar captures this moment with such innocence and vividness.
“Pain and Glory” is an intimate portrayal of solitude, loss, and regret, but it is also full of sincerity, love, and humanity. A love letter to cinema and life itself.
★★★★½ (4.5 stars out of 5)
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